I’ve been walking by a terrible reminder for a little over a week. It’s an ugly reminder, one I’d rather not see. It reminds me of how fragile we really are. The reminder is the broken and twisted remains of a Harley Davidson Road Glide. Every time I look at it, which is normally about 4 to 6 times a day, I’m filled with feelings that weigh on me the same way a missed opportunity makes me feel once I realize that one has passed by me.
When I was in the car business, the first lesson of sales that was drummed into my head was to always (always, always, always, always) ask every person you meet if they’d like to buy the car. It had to be done every single time. There were times when I “shortcut” the process, and I let the client go without asking the question. Inevitably, that person would go to another lot and buy from someone who did ask them for the business, or worse yet, they came back on my day off and bought from another salesman one the lot. In the latter situation, if I shortcut the process, I got cut out of the deal, or received only a minimal part off the commission. That didn’t happen very often before I learned the importance of exploring every opportunity.
“So Sal, how does this lesson from the car business tie into a wrecked HD that gives you the “willies” every time you see it,” you might ask? It goes back to a couple of verses in the bible where God teaches us to make forgiveness and showing our love to each other paramount over almost everything else in life. In Matthew 5:23&24, during the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. FIRST go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” God in this passage tells us He does not want us to bring our worship before Him if we have unfinished business with someone else. He puts the NEED to reconcile our Earthly relationships ahead of even our offerings of to Him. Think about that for a moment.
(No, seriously, stop right now, think about that, carefully.)
God does not want you working for Him while you knowingly ignore those in your life that you have wronged (or who have wronged you without you forgiving them). Do you realize how much importance Jesus placed on this teaching? In Matthew’s Gospel, it was the 4th thing Jesus spoke of during the Sermon on the Mount, grouping it together with the topic of murder. Jesus said to leave the place of worship and seek forgiveness; worship in the absence of forgiveness is not pleasing to God.
The reason that pile of twisted metal causes me to pause each time I pass it is that it reminds me of all the times I let forgiveness and restoration slip through my hands. I was too busy, too offended, or too full of myself to take the time to be the one to go to my brother to reconcile our broken relationship. I can lose the chance to reconcile in a moment, and what then? There’s no ‘fixing’ things once I’m dead. There’s no repairing a friendship once the unthinkable happens; and IT does happen, everyday. A week hardly goes by that I don’t read about a biker’s life being cut short. It’s not something we like to talk about, but we think about it in our quiet moments. Nowhere in the Bible does it say God is going to give us a free pass until we get our ‘stuff’ taken care of, on the contrary, time and again we are reminded how fleeting our life is. Today is what we have.
Forgiveness is hard; it is not something that we humans do with ease. It takes a lot of practice to get to a point where we can be comfortable with it, but the good news is that we can get better at it, with time, effort and practice, we can become more comfortable when giving or asking for forgiveness. The key is to start. Don’t worry about all the details, focus on saying the words, “I forgive you,” or for the times it was your fault, “I am so sorry, please forgive me.” It’s going to feel about as comfortable as walking on glass the first few time you do it, but cheer up, it gets a little easier as you practice it.
Before I close, allow me to relate a story about forgiveness avoided. A man leaves home for work as he always does, early in the morning, before the kids are up. The night before, his son came to him with bad news about an unplanned pregnancy in his life. The father went off as most of us probably would. His last words to his son were hard and callous, and then he slammed the door to his bedroom, shutting his son out. For the rest of the night he heard his son’s weeping, he heard the conversations the son had with his mother, and with the girl. Again and again, he ignored the pleas for forgiveness and help from the hallway. He went to sleep thinking how hard this was going to make it for he and his wife. At the office he gets a call from his wife, she tells him his son is dead, some kind of accident... A lifetime to spend with the bitter taste of forgiveness missed.
Today is what you have,
Peace… and Joy
Sal
