Real pride

My youngest son came to me with a bit of what seemed to be bad news this afternoon when I picked him up from gym practice.  He said that his coach had informed him that his move up two levels, from 5 to 7, was going to be amended to a singled level move to level 6.  As he said the words I began to think about his recent frustrations with his own progress and I started formulating a word salve to use on his bruised ego.  He continued saying that he was pretty bummed out about it at first (son, sometimes things don't go the way we hoped they woul...) and that he had spent a lot of his practice time mad about his situation (but sometimes we take too big of a bite from our plate of challenges and we need to step bac...) and then he said the word BUT (what?).  He paused a moment (my wheels were in neutral but continuing to spin) and said, that by the end of the session he was okay with it, disappointed, but okay.  His coach took several minutes at the end of practice to explain his decision, after letting it sink in to his young mind (well played coach).  He said he felt it was better to remove some of the stress and allow him to focus on growing, and that he would reevaluate his level at the season mid-point.  (yeah son, that's sometimes the way things go, especially when the coach is looking out for your interests instead of) And that 's when he said these words, "I told coach that nothing happens without God wanting it to happen, and that His plan is always the best.  I told him I was okay with what happened."  (fighting back tears....   pumped up on prednizsone and pride... ) Some of this is really sticking with him was my first thought.  He is understanding God's providence was my second.  Dang, I wish I could be more like my son, was my third.

Good and Bad

Just got done watching the movie "The Avengers" with my wife and son, it was his treat to us to celebrate our anniversary.  Funny thing about that movie, it's a block-buster for a lot of good reasons.  I know a lot of you out there (ha) will say what good can come from Hollywood, and most times I would be in agreement with you. My favorite actor, Robert Duvall, once said that the reason he lived out in the mountains and not in Hollywood was that he had to work there, but he didn't want to live there.  But this new movie has a lot of good in it.  It has Captain America, urging others on and encouraging them to be their best and expecting their best from them.  It has a comment about only ONE God.  It has forgiveness and redemption and second chances given major roles with several characters.  Thor trying repeatedly to redeem his brother and trying to help him see there is still good in him.  Dr. Banner is shown in a state of acceptance of his "issue," but not letting it come in the way of hm working to help those that life has dealt a lousy hand to.  I shows the ex-Soviet spy making the most out of the second chance she was given and looking for a way to repay the kindness.  It shows her seeking out her friend, who was turned to the foe's side, tirelessly and selflessly striving to release him from the chains he finds himself in.  It gives us a chance to see a self absorbed man who uses arrogance to hide his desire to help others and to be loved finally put his ego aside to do a truly selfless act.  I shows a regular guy, agent Coulson, who deeply believes in the cause he fights for and sees clearly the difference between his side and the darkness it fights.  He sums it up when he tells the antagonist, "You can not win because you lack conviction."  Wow, that's a phrase we need to hear more of these days.  We see an elderly man, a man of wisdom stand up in the face of the darkness and proclaim it for what it is to all who will hear, even though it will cost him his life.  

I could go on and on with more examples of what is right about this movie, but I won't.  There were things that were wrong in the movie.  The refusal to follow orders by Col. Fury, yes that was wrong.  He did it for the right reasons, but he was wrong.  The killing of the man in the art gallery to gain entrance to the secure facility by using his retinal scan, but in the director's defense, he used a cut away shot to reduce the effect of the gruesome act, while giving us a look into the heart of darkness.  The un-married state of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts will have some crying moral decay, but look deeper and you'll see that Stark is for the first time in a truly love based relationship.  He could have any woman he wanted, and he chooses Pepper, a (yes beautiful, but) middle-aged woman who is not a poster child for the newest cosmetic surgery procedures.  

Hurrah to Hollywood for making a movie where we can cheer for good over evil, where we can see love triumph over hate, where right and wrong are clearly not separated by a  blurry line.  Thank you for giving us heros who have conviction.

Do over, I think not...

Too cool for words.  A fully restored 1934 BMW R7 concept bike.  Imagine if they had actually been able to build IT rather than aircraft engines during the 30's and 40's.  I bet it sounds as cool as it looks.

The thought about what might have been I made; imagine putting all our screw-ups into what might have been land and fixing them so that we could look at how things would have worked out IF we had not screwed them up so superbly.  I was talking about this the other night with my wife, focussing on one particular screw-up of mine that occurred in 2006.  I talked about the choice I had, the direction I took and the final reason I did it, and when I was all done, I thought I would leave it all the same even if I could do it all over.  I learned a lot though the time that followed that decision, and I don't think I would be benefitted far above where I find myself today if I did.  God's plan for me was played out the way it was for a reason, discomfort included.  Not sure it applies to the bike above but it does make you wonder.

Scary but amazing

I'm sitting here watching the US men's gymnastics championship on television and I find myself amazed.  These guys are phenomenal in so many ways: strength, courage, skill, focus, the list can go on.  My son is a competitive gymnast, going into his 3rd year in competition, this year he begins training as a level 7.  He   got moved up from level 5 last year after regionals and is training hard for the competitive season that will all too soon begin.

As I watch these young men compete, I find myself wondering, whether or not Jac ever makes it to this level, if I am prepared for him to do such things?  I don't doubt his courage, I doubt my own.  Watching these guys, you have the same sense of fear and trepidation that grips you at the precipice of a tall roller coaster.  I'm not sure I could bring myself to look if he was doing some of the flips and spins they they have to do at national levels.  The good news is that what I have the ability to do has nothing to do with what he can do.  His future will be decided by God's will for him, I think that's for the best.

Don't Wait

In the past month 3 men who I have a 2 degrees-of-separation connection with have died.  All seemingly in perfect health, all relatively young (49, 52, 43), and all very suddenly.  My co-worker's brother-in law, died of a sudden stroke, leaving a wife and a couple of teen-aged children.  A charter member of the motorcycle group I am a member of died of a massive heart attack, leaving a couple of young daughters and a wife.  A friend of one of the teachers with whom I work died in a car accident, leaving a home, pets, parents, and many friends.

I went to the doctor this week for my yearly poke and prod.  Everything is just great.  I actually lost a couple of pounds this year, kept my cholesterol down, and avoided spending time in the doc's office for anything this year.  No I am not afraid of becoming number 4, in fact I am not at all concerned about it.  I wrote this for another reason.  All these men died suddenly, without the chance to say anything to their loved ones from a hospital bed... boom! it was just over, for all of them.  They had no chance for do-overs that day, no chance to right a wrong with their wife or reopen a slammed door with their kid; their last words were just that.

Live life that way, like what ever you are saying ARE your last words to that person.  Don't assume that you're going to get a chance to make it right.... you probably won't.

It's not me

God expects us to do things that we don’t like to do, things that we don’t feel comfortable doing, things that we know we can’t do with the skills we have, things that we find creative ways to avoid. He does this so that we, when we are in the midst of doing these things, recognize that it is really Him accomplishing the task He delegated to us. The task is not ours to do, it is His to complete, and God merely allows us to come along for the ride. I think it's time.

Forgiveness

I’ve been walking by a terrible reminder for a little over a week. It’s an ugly reminder, one I’d rather not see. It reminds me of how fragile we really are. The reminder is the broken and twisted remains of a Harley Davidson Road Glide. Every time I look at it, which is normally about 4 to 6 times a day, I’m filled with feelings that weigh on me the same way a missed opportunity makes me feel once I realize that one has passed by me.

When I was in the car business, the first lesson of sales that was drummed into my head was to always (always, always, always, always) ask every person you meet if they’d like to buy the car. It had to be done every single time. There were times when I “shortcut” the process, and I let the client go without asking the question. Inevitably, that person would go to another lot and buy from someone who did ask them for the business, or worse yet, they came back on my day off and bought from another salesman one the lot. In the latter situation, if I shortcut the process, I got cut out of the deal, or received only a minimal part off the commission. That didn’t happen very often before I learned the importance of exploring every opportunity.

“So Sal, how does this lesson from the car business tie into a wrecked HD that gives you the “willies” every time you see it,” you might ask? It goes back to a couple of verses in the bible where God teaches us to make forgiveness and showing our love to each other paramount over almost everything else in life. In Matthew 5:23&24, during the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. FIRST go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” God in this passage tells us He does not want us to bring our worship before Him if we have unfinished business with someone else. He puts the NEED to reconcile our Earthly relationships ahead of even our offerings of to Him. Think about that for a moment.
(No, seriously, stop right now, think about that, carefully.)
God does not want you working for Him while you knowingly ignore those in your life that you have wronged (or who have wronged you without you forgiving them). Do you realize how much importance Jesus placed on this teaching? In Matthew’s Gospel, it was the 4th thing Jesus spoke of during the Sermon on the Mount, grouping it together with the topic of murder. Jesus said to leave the place of worship and seek forgiveness; worship in the absence of forgiveness is not pleasing to God.

The reason that pile of twisted metal causes me to pause each time I pass it is that it reminds me of all the times I let forgiveness and restoration slip through my hands. I was too busy, too offended, or too full of myself to take the time to be the one to go to my brother to reconcile our broken relationship. I can lose the chance to reconcile in a moment, and what then? There’s no ‘fixing’ things once I’m dead. There’s no repairing a friendship once the unthinkable happens; and IT does happen, everyday. A week hardly goes by that I don’t read about a biker’s life being cut short. It’s not something we like to talk about, but we think about it in our quiet moments. Nowhere in the Bible does it say God is going to give us a free pass until we get our ‘stuff’ taken care of, on the contrary, time and again we are reminded how fleeting our life is. Today is what we have.

Forgiveness is hard; it is not something that we humans do with ease. It takes a lot of practice to get to a point where we can be comfortable with it, but the good news is that we can get better at it, with time, effort and practice, we can become more comfortable when giving or asking for forgiveness. The key is to start. Don’t worry about all the details, focus on saying the words, “I forgive you,” or for the times it was your fault, “I am so sorry, please forgive me.” It’s going to feel about as comfortable as walking on glass the first few time you do it, but cheer up, it gets a little easier as you practice it.

Before I close, allow me to relate a story about forgiveness avoided. A man leaves home for work as he always does, early in the morning, before the kids are up. The night before, his son came to him with bad news about an unplanned pregnancy in his life. The father went off as most of us probably would. His last words to his son were hard and callous, and then he slammed the door to his bedroom, shutting his son out. For the rest of the night he heard his son’s weeping, he heard the conversations the son had with his mother, and with the girl. Again and again, he ignored the pleas for forgiveness and help from the hallway. He went to sleep thinking how hard this was going to make it for he and his wife. At the office he gets a call from his wife, she tells him his son is dead, some kind of accident... A lifetime to spend with the bitter taste of forgiveness missed.

Today is what you have,
Peace… and Joy

Sal